i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
