So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
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