Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
