We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
