I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
home. puking in laundry basket.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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