I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
