Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
