Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
he's gonorrhea incarnate
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
