This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
