dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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