erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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