Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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