So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
