How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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