She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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