Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
