Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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