I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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