WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
