There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
