she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
