She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
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