The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Randomize
