Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
