Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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