If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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