Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
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