I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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