That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
