It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
