You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Too much gin, very little bucket
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
