His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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