i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
