dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
