We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
