I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
