So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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