is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
