matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
she pinky promised me she was 18
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
