Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
