I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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