IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
