Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
