Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
