lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
