Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
