this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
