I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
