i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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