What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
