we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
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